Spiritual Autobiography – Part 3 of 3

Here is the third part of an assignment that I completed toward my M.A. in Theological Studies. It provides another small window into who I am and how I got here. Enjoy:

PART 3 of 3:

As I have journeyed to hone and shape my sense of call into a particular direction or outlet, I have had the incredible opportunity to serve in ministry with four congregations. In three of these, I have served primarily as minister to middle school and high school students, and at the other, I served as the senior pastor of the congregation. As a pastor to students (the vocation in which I now find myself), I have had the privilege of seeing young people come to a new understanding of God, much like I did when I was in college. In my high school years, I often found myself struggling to bridge the growing disconnect between the “God” I grew up with and the world in which I was living. As a pastor to students in the similar positions, I have had the blessing of helping students navigate these now familiar waters. I have never experienced anything that gives me such joy as seeing someone make the connection between God the Creator and the created world around him or her.

For a period of roughly six months, I answered what I still believe to be God’s call to serve a small congregation in southwest Missouri as their senior pastor. During that time, I hit road block after road block, suffered multiple setbacks, and experienced intense pain that I simply didn’t know how to handle. At the time, I struggled with understanding how God could call my family and me to experience such a hurtful period of time. While I still struggle with processing those six months, I now believe that God hadn’t called me to pain but rather to learning about myself. In Let Your Life Speak, Parker Palmer wrote, “To embrace weakness, liability, and darkness are a part of who I am give that part less sway over me, because all it ever wanted was to be acknowledged as part of my whole self” [1]. Until that point, I had only known pain as a result of not understanding God. I now know the pain that is associated with following God. My pain and my weakness are a part of me, and I now know that I won’t be separated from them simply for following where Christ leads.

In my eight years experience in vocational ministry, I have seen success and failure, and that has led me to a better understanding of where God may be calling me next. My greatest success has been with those who are far from God and have little (or largely misguided) understanding of how God might relate to them and the world around them. As my wife and I have prayed and sought God’s will for our future, we have come to believe that we will best serve the Kingdom by planting a new congregation that is specifically motivated at reaching those who have rejected God based on a misunderstanding of who He is. There are many people who, just like me, found that their “God” was simply not big enough to handle the world in which they live. It is my hope that those people come to know the God that not only created and sustains that world, but Who is also working to redeem it.

For a period of roughly six months, I answered what I still believe to be God’s call to serve a small congregation in southwest Missouri as their senior pastor. During that time, I hit road block after road block, suffered multiple setbacks, and experienced intense pain that I simply didn’t know how to handle. At the time, I struggled with understanding how God could call my family and me to experience such a hurtful period of time. While I still struggle with processing those six months, I now believe that God hadn’t called me to pain but rather to learning about myself. In Let Your Life Speak, Parker Palmer wrote, “To embrace weakness, liability, and darkness are a part of who I am give that part less sway over me, because all it ever wanted was to be acknowledged as part of my whole self” [1]. Until that point, I had only known pain as a result of not understanding God. I now know the pain that is associated with following God. My pain and my weakness are a part of me, and I now know that I won’t be separated from them simply for following where Christ leads.

In my eight years experience in vocational ministry, I have seen success and failure, and that has led me to a better understanding of where God may be calling me next. My greatest success has been with those who are far from God and have little (or largely misguided) understanding of how God might relate to them and the world around them. As my wife and I have prayed and sought God’s will for our future, we have come to believe that we will best serve the Kingdom by planting a new congregation that is specifically motivated at reaching those who have rejected God based on a misunderstanding of who He is. There are many people who, just like me, found that their “God” was simply not big enough to handle the world in which they live. It is my hope that those people come to know the God that not only created and sustains that world, but Who is also working to redeem it.