This post may come across as odd (especially to those of you who might think that pastors are supposed to love the church all the time), but here goes nothing…
There are times that I wish God would step down out of heaven to do something that I wish I more pastors had the courage to do: close down and disband a congregation. In my mind I picture it as paying homage to Genesis Chapter 3 where God posts not just a “no trespassing” sign but also a cherubim with a flaming sword at the door. Overdramatic? I honestly don’t think so. Here’s why:
If you’re reading this, you’ve probably read about some of my experiences with a church in Southwest Missouri that I pastored for a short period of time last year. It’s been just over a year since my family endured the hardship that surrounded our departure from that congregation. I thought we were really getting to a point that we were able to say that we were moving past some of the hurt that we had experienced. This past week changed all that.
It started when my beautiful wife made a twitter post that said something to the effect of, “sometimes I miss Missouri.” What she meant was that every once in a while we both miss certain aspects of life in the Midwest. Life is slower there. People look at life differently. The seasons change. To this day, I still don’t know if I’ve ever seen anything quite like Missouri in October. It is simply breathtaking.
Upon reading that innocent post the then-associate pastor (who is now the not-so-coincidentally senior pastor) of the church was prompted to email my wife wishing us the best, saying that I am “talented” and “gifted” and that they hope there are no hard feelings about what happened a year ago…
Wait. What??? No hard feelings?? Of course there are hard feelings. It’s almost like he didn’t remember what happened. They didn’t rear-end my car. They uprooted my family. They contributed to a situation that nearly destroyed my faith and almost led to my leaving the ministry altogether. No hard feelings. Yeah, right.
Much to her credit, my wife responded (after letting my read his email), saying that we are still very much hurt and that, though she appreciated his attempt a cordiality, it was misplaced and ill-timed.
That’s when the crazy came out.
The former-associate pastor took this opportunity to tell my wife that she “obviously didn’t know the whole story” and that if we were honest wit ourselves we would be willing to admit that I was in the wrong.
Let me be the first to say: “I will own as much responsibility as is possible in this situation.” I was inexperienced. I was prideful. I was having difficulty dealing with the stress of the job (which included presiding over the funeral of a six-year-old). I am owning all of this and more.
But what really ticks me off is that at the end of his email, the “man of God” asked my wife to not share the email with me. I’ll just abbreviate it (since I believe most of you are God-fearing people): WTF, man?
So here’s my response. I am actively praying that God do one of two things:
1.) Bless that congregation in such a way that they become self-aware. That maybe, just maybe they would be able to finally make an impact in their community for the benefit of the Kingdom.
OR
2.) Shut that congregation down. That God would close their doors so that they might never hurt anyone ever again. That they would stop being such a gross misrepresentation of the Body of Christ that it ends up doing more damage to the Kingdom than good.
Am I taking this too far? I think not. Churches like this (and yes, I can admit that no church is perfect) should simply not exist. I’m not saying that the people should not exist. I’m just saying that for some reason, when these specific people get together “in Jesus’ name,” people end up getting hurt. That is not the God’s plan for His Body.
If you have been hurt. If you know someone who has been hurt. If you have been the one who has inflicted that pain. Please join me in praying for the Church. Pray that God redeem it or close it down.
I don’t know where you’re at, but I’m right here. If you’re here, too, the I’d love to talk you. I leave you hoping that the God of creation shows you even a glimpse of His redemptive plan for your life, His Church, and this world. Bless you.
Read Revelation and you will surely see that God is all about removing “lampstands” and “spewing” churches out of His mouth. Church closings are a good thing, a God thing. I believe whole denominations will/should be shut down.
But you must remember: “Don’t let a root of bitterness grow up to trouble many…” The root is the event, the issue. It grows when nursed and given fertilizer and good ground. It troubles us, then others, and then it corrupts. If you aren’t careful the people of MO will follow you everywhere you go (even though they won’t be there physically), they will be in every meeting, and will dominate your thoughts. Leave them behind. You are no longer accountable to them, need their approval, or defend yourself to them. This is an unwinnable battle. It’s funny that he doesn’t think you know the whole story; I thought you were the story!!!
Brian,
I appreciate the feedback. My wife and in both have spent some pretty intense times trying to figure out what it looks like to “move past” all the stuff that happened to us out there, and it seems like every time we feel like we’re finally getting there, something happens that causes it all to come rushing back into our lives.
I know that bitterness is certainly something that is weighing me down, and it is something I’m working on. My prayer now is for grace and the desire to forgive. Because, honestly, after something like this, the desire to forgive is a very distant reality.
Anyway, I do appreciate your reply. I am learning that for every bad experience and strained relationship, there is still encouragement to be found. Thank you for providing even a small portion of that encouragement.
Leaving things behind is not as easy as it seems. Makes for nice preaching but the reality is harder. It is a continual battle. The names and faces change but the same people are in every church. We may not change them but hopefully we will change in how we deal with them. Read Perry Noble’s blog post called “the difference between a critic and a coach.” good stuff.